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30 january 2016, windows zen - not

I have always regarded computers, like cars, as just a way of getting from a to b, or more ambitiously, to z. I neither know nor care what goes on under the bonnet; I call my mechanic, or son. However, so frequent have our help moments become, forced as we are to load ever cleverer applications on to the old dear, that we have finally faced up to the need to change our antique dell desktop, #disposableworld. After due deliberation, and despite loving my i-phone, we ignored the siren voices both of going apple (how much did you say again) and of converting to a laptop (you're so old-fashioned dad) and went like-for-like, of course with upgraded speed, memory and gizmos (there being no basic black ford on the market). I hate it. I don't think I've ever written a computer review before, but there's a first time for everything, so here goes. Windows 10 is absolutely rubbish, user-unfriendly and full of unnecessary stuff that forces you to do things you don't want, like store contacts on the cloud. Focus of my ire is its email programme, an emotional media for me as, though different, it is what remains of my earlier-life penchant for writing letters. It is unintuitive and generally abysmal to the point of non-function. No stars. My signing-on bonus was a week trapped in despondency and the loss of the precious few hours I carve out each week in front of my screen in my study that keep me going. At least I've worked out how to change the hated but ubiquitous email "signature". Mine might as well read "typed on an olivetti lettera 33", my inner luddite having seemingly taken control momentarily. In cyberspace, no-one can hear you scream...